Easter Candy

Yes.  Easter candy.  That is what I have lived on for the past four days.  Needless to say, I FEEL LIKE CRAP!! I'm doing a cleanse tomorrow.  I can't stand feeling like this.  Feeling like this is the best motivation I have ever felt.  

I don't think I'm going to do P90X because I am just not excited about the workouts.  If I'm not excited about it, I won't stick with it, then I will just feel like a failure for not keeping with it.  So, I am going to do this: workout.  Good ol' fashioned running, lifting weights, maybe throw in some Turbo Jam days and buy Zumba for the Wii for some variety.  I know that this plan is NO P90X.... However, it is a bagillionmillion times better than what I am doing now. 

I have support this time.  Myself.  I'm done.  I'm done not having any clothes that fit or fit right.  I'm done saying "Ugh. When I was skinny.." or "I feel gross.."  I'm done feeling down ALL of the time because I feel disgusting.  It's not fair to Luke that I don't feel sexy.  It's not his fault I let myself get this way.

I have a pair of jeans.  My favorite jeans.  I got them in a going out of business sale at Jimmy'z (r.i.p. :(  best store ever...) for super cheap and I wore them all of the time.  They're a size 8.  Perfect.  I'm not trying to be an itty bitty... I'm a mom and my toddler thinks I'm his punching bag, I can't be too skinny!!  I just want to be healthy.  I am a "big 12" now.  My 12's fit, but are snug.  An 8 is doable.  6 is my ultimate goal, but 8 is where I will start.  I am going to take those jeans out and hang them up where I can see them.  A constant reminder of what I can be if I get off my butt and work for it.  

No more complaining.  It's my fault.  I ate the fat.  I ate the candy.  I sat down and didn't move.  I didn't work out.  It's my fault and no one else's.  From now on, I may only complain about sore muscles and I must do it with a smile on my face. :)

So, here we go.  The new me..... or old me?  No, new me.  Old me was skinny, but not healthy.  I just want to be healthy, and that is not what I am right now.  I'm going to the store tomorrow to stock up on as many healthy snacks as my diminishing bank account will allow. (The lack of a job after a huge move really has me stressed...... Nothing a good work out won't fix, right?!)

I'm starting this "Healthy Me" off with a good night's sleep.  Lots to do tomorrow, including spending the little guy's nap time walking/running on the treadmill... :)

...until then <3