Here I Go Again

Yet again I come to you, strangers who probably don't read this dusty old blog, and promise you that I will stick with it this time, that I am going to finish a program, that I am going to get fit and healthy.  This time there is a difference...

I'm not fucking around anymore.

I currently weigh 195 pounds, standing at 5 feet and 5 inches.  That is so unhealthy.
I have a preschool age son who I can't keep up with.  A son who I am not setting a good example for in the health and fitness category of life lessons.
I have a husband who is also out of shape who I hope to encourage to be a better version of himself for our son.
I have a huge closet, a huge suitcase, bags, and a 6 drawer dresser FULL of clothes that don't fit me.  My current "wardrobe" consists of baggy hoodies, my husband's tshirts, and yoga pants that are so small they slide down my muffin top.

I started Power90 20 days ago.  My last workout was 10 days ago.  In order to catch up with myself, I need to do two-a-days for the next week. I can do that.  I'm not disabled.  I'm not so big I can't move at all. I just need to suck it up and get over myself and get shit done.  I need to get it done.

In those ten days I kept with the program, I lost 2 inches off of my waist.  TWO INCHES IN TEN DAYS!!!??  Unreal.  Yet I stopped.  HUH!?  I don't understand myself.  I really don't.

I am hoping that through the next 70 days of this program, I will find myself, I will understand myself better, be a happier person, be a better Mommy, be a better wife, and overcome the self pity.  There is no need for it.  It is time now.  It is time to get it done.

I need to get it done.

I am posting my before picture from twenty days ago.  I am 100% embarrassed by it.  I need to post it.  And in 90 days, I will post another picture.  A "during" picture.  A picture I can be proud of!

Officially out on the internet.  My fat body.. But, my only body.  I have one life to live.  I have one life in which to give my husband and my son the best of me.  This is not the best of me.  They deserve better, but more importantly, IIII deserve better!  But it will not happen without hard work.  I also only have 14 weeks until Memorial Day weekend.  I would like to be able to go to the shore and play on the beach with my son and not be worried about who is judging me for even leaving my house looking the way I do.  

Here goes nothing.  Here goes everything.  It is time to give it everything I have in me.  It is time to be the MILF I deserve to be.